After I got her comfy on the floor, she quickly went back to sleep, but I lay there awake. I thought of my own childhood. My mom was usually intoxicated. I remember shaking her and shaking her trying to wake her up. She was never alert & waiting for me, often didn't even know where I was.
I thought of other children who don't have a parent to run to in the night to calm their fears. Children who's biggest nightmares are when they are awake, and sleep is the only peace they get. I prayed for them, my heart heavy.
I'm so thankful for a Heavenly Father who is always awake, always alert, and always with his arms open wide, waiting for me to run into them. Whether you're living in a nightmare or experiencing sweet dreams, God knows exactly where you are and he's there waiting for you too, arms open wide.
Psalm 91:9-12 -- If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge- then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
26 comments:
Yes, growing up without basic nurturing consistently is harder than we can even express.
BUT look at God using that and you know it is your priviledge to comfort your dear child in ways you longed to be comforted. I know God wastes nothing. As I age I'm seeing it more and more that He will turn my "ashes" into "beauty."
Your willingness to stay right by your daughter through the night and not complain is beautiful.
All the blessed people that didn't grown up in trauma have no idea of the "holes" in the souls of us who did make it through those tought upbringings. But...huge BUT, God has filled those holes with Himself. WE are Whole because of HIM!!!
This is a beautiful post!!!
My heart aches for those children you are praying for, may they feel the warmth of their heavenly Father's arms. My heart aches for the memories you carry. I am so thankful you are God's princess and you have Him living in your heart making you whole! I am thankful for your loving example to all of us! Love to you and Cici!
I love Psalm 91. No harm shall befall us!
And I love this picture of your daughter running into your arms. A blessed little girl, indeed.
I am so glad that you invited your daughter to spend the rest of the night in your room and that she didn't even have to ask. That was probably such a comfort to her!
My husband gets irritated because our 11-year-old still camps out on our floor at least 3-4 nights a month. Our 14-year-old will do the same if he's not feeling well. My feeling is as long as they're still not doing it when they're 20, who cares! Obviously, they still need the comfort of having us nearby right now. I also always remind them that they can pray when they need comforting.
I teach that to my preschoolers as well. I talk to them numerous times during the school year about talking to God when they are scared. Many of these kids come from non-Christian families, and I want them to know that they can always turn to our Heavenly Father.
I'm sorry for what you endured during your childhood. Praise God that you've been able to really mother your children despite not having an earthly role model.
Blessings and hugs to you!
I remember very well those days of going into her room for comfort or even just to talk and she was in such a stupor that she would either slur something unintelligible or say nothing at all.
Well, thank goodness. I thought I had no memories of my childhood, but I guess I have one. :}
After reading that book, I now know where the need for Affirmation comes from in my life. Having never gotten any as a child that tank was empty. I am so glad that God stayed there for both of us.
Sweet post. What a blessing that God enabled you to stop the generation sin and give your kids a different memory.
I love this post Kelly. I really love this post. It touches my heart deeply.
God used your experience as a child to shape your love for your children to align with the way He loves you.
"...working things for the good for those who love Him...."
And you can't see that all the time. When you're in the midst of what you had to deal with growing up, and not fully understanding a relationship with the Lord, you can't see what He means by good.
But now, when you can reflect, when you can give, when you understand love in the truest sense, I hope you can see....He is working it out for you!
I need to have your attitude, as my visits to RJ2's room are nightly again. I needed the reminder of why I'm there, even if I don't fully know. He does.
Oh Kelly,
What a sad, sweet post. Praise God your baby girl has such a sweet mommy. I find it remarkable that though you and I didn't have the parents we needed, God has granted us healing and grace to be there for our kids. HE IS SO GOOD!
I am so glad that you were there for that precious little one! And, what a blessing to know that our Abba is alwsy there for us--to comfort us in whatever situation. He was there for you even when your mom couldn't be. You are a precious daughter of the King, Kelly :).
Hugs,
Susan
Kathy... my heart goes out to you, but Praise the Lord,"what the enemy meant for evil, God has turned into good."
You are now making precious memories for YOUR sweet children!!
Thank you for this post and for reminding us that all children deserve what your children and mine take for granted!!
Love, In Him,
Sharon
"As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you." Isaiah 66:13
You are that mother for your daughters...reflecting God's heart, love and care. They are blessed.
Probably the most practical comforting Truth that we need constant reminders of. And, probably your best Post so far...imho.
The greater our trials, the better we appreciate the goodness that we witness.
side note: In order to 'hide' a place/site behind a word(s)...you have to know the URL of the place you want it to go after you click on the 'mask word'. How do I find the URL of a post/Blogger?
I've tried to comment three times and keep deleting it. Suffice to say, my earth dad was like your MOm.
THANK GOD for our heavenly PARENT!
AND God bless your little children and their sweet Mommy!
Hey Kelly,
Your history is much like the present some of the kids at my church experience. Seeing all that the Lord is doing in your life today confirms the hope I have for their future.
God bless you, girl!
What a beautiful post Kelly.
You have expressed yourself so well, you have me tearing up at work!
I love the way you turn lifes experiences into a lesson for the Lord.
Your post reminded me of a book my friend loaned me. I'm hesitant to read it because of the subject matter. It's titled "A Child Called It." There are three books altogether spanning over the authors (Dave Pelzer) life. He is now a christian. It sounds like he dealt with an alcoholic mother throughout his childhood.
It's amazing what God has done in you and is doing through you, and what a blessing that you and your children can carry on in the heritage of the Lord. What a truly wonderful God we serve!
Kelly,
Isn't it wonderful that we can run to God as your daughter did to you. Then we can go to sleep too while He remains awake to guard us and protect us from all that tries to bring us harm.
I too pray today for those children who do not have parents to show them the kind of love and care that you are able to show your daughter. God reveal your care and love to them.
Thank you Jesus that you here our prayer because you love us and those we are concerned for.
Christy
Kelly,
What an amazing post and so heart felt. I am so thankful that God is always waiting for me with open arms.
Just last night my little one woke up at 1am upset and I was there waiting for him with open arms...
What a great reminder of what we have waiting for us in our times of need.
No words just tears as I read. My heart heavy for all the hurting children who don't receive those wide open arms to hug and love them in their fears.
Bless you Kelly.
A beautiful post. There are always kids each year in my classroom that I'd like to hug through their nightmares.
Oh, my sweet Kelly. I want to wrap my arms around you for all the times your mother didn't. This was a thought provoking, heart-wrenching post. Thank you for sharing with us.
hmmm...I never thought of that. Must of blocked it out. Thank goodness none of us were sick like Joey needing instant care. I will say I remember being 14 or 15 and needing stitches and I had to drive myself to the hospital (I didn't have a license) I also know I don't like being hugged...but I don't know why. I feel so sorry for any child who feels unloved! But, something to be thankful for is how much we love our children and they are getting the love we never got!!
ET
wow, very beautiful...
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