You are dearly loved. Not by him. By Him. By Him who created you, who knit you in your mother's womb. He, God, delights over you with singing! He wrote your name in the palm of His hand. He sent His only Son, His dearly loved only Son to die to pay the price for your sins, so that you could have eternity together.
That's right, you grew up to be a Jesus Freak. But it's okay! You see God isn't that scary God who sends you to hell, that you've worried about and tried to please (and failed) your whole life. Yes, he does judge, but He doesn't anxiously wait for your to mess up so he can send you to hell. His desire is that all should come to know Him and have eternity with Him. He is slow to anger, and quick to forgive.
My advice to you, young Kelly, is to remember that love shouldn't have to be earned. And love shouldn't make you fear. As a matter of fact there is no fear in love - but perfect love drives out fear. Don't be afraid. I know you feel alone, unloved, worthless. But even if no person on earth ever loved you, God's love is enough. (But - spoiler alert - you have a loving husband, and two precious daughters who adore you....not to mention lots of amazing friends).
I know you feel lost. But Jesus came for the lost. I guess what I am telling you is ALL the things you are so concerned about don't really matter. Believe it or not, Jesus is the only thing. You will have trouble, but Jesus overcame the world so that there is a happy ending...happily EVER after.
My advice to you is hold you head up, and live. Don't try to fix people. Those that want to change, do. You can't make people change, sad as that may be. (It's that whole free will thing. If you feel bad, imagine how God does will people reject all He is offering.) No matter what you do, Kelly, your mom isn't going to change. And it's not your fault. You are lovable. She is not loving. Realize the critical difference in those two points.
You are dearly loved. You don't have to earn it. You never did. Love yourself. Jesus loves you, and you are worth it.
*signed - the much Older and slightly Wiser version of you.*
What would you say in a letter to your teenage self? Leave me a comment and let me know.
What would you say in a letter to your teenage self? Leave me a comment and let me know.
Note: Emily Freeman at chatting at the sky has a new book for teenage girls called Graceful: Letting Go of Your Try-Hard Life. She is offering an invitation for bloggers to write letters to their teenage selves. Teenage girls need encouragement and love more than anything. Visit Emily’s blog for links to other letters.
Kelly Combs is a Christian wife, mom, writer and speaker. You can learn about Kelly by visiting her website at www.kellycombs.com
