When I look at my "resolutions" from 2009, I see failures. One goal was to finish writing a devotion book to be published this year. And while I still think my idea to write devotionals based on hit songs of the 70s was good (and so did a literary agent), the music industry holds such tight copy rights, that I would spend more on copy right permissions that I would make selling my book. FAIL.
I hoped to exercise more and lose weight. I did hit the gym some, but I came to learn that after age 40 (barely after!) exercise doesn't make you lose weight, it only allows you to maintain. And with skipping the gym comes weight gain. FAIL.
My goal to read the entire Bible within a year? BIG FAIL.
I think of those who lost battles with cancer this year, especially the young son of a blog friend. The weight of failures and sadness seem too heavy to consider a "HAPPY" new year.
I pulled out the devotional "Jesus Calling," by Sarah Young. A gift from my blog friend Sharon, it signified another FAIL on my part. I'd started reading strong, but had fallen out of the habit. But I read it last week as I felt the weight of everything except a happy new year coming. Here is the entry I read on December 31st. (Each entry is as if Jesus is talking to you).
As this year draws to a close, receive My Peace. This is still your deepest need, and I, your Prince of Peace, long to pour Myself into your neediness. My abundance and your emptiness are a perfect match. I designed you to have no sufficiency of your own. I created you as a jar of clay, set apart for sacred use. I want you to be filled with My very Being, permeated through and through with Peace.
Thank Me for My peaceful Presence, regardless of your feelings. Whisper My Name in loving tenderness. My Peace, which lives continually in your spirit, will gradually work its way through your entire being.
God longs to fill us with HIS peace. Happy new year? Perhaps not. But a new year filled with His peace sounds just excellent about now. May we all experience His abundance in our empty places this year.
18 comments:
Oh, Kelly. I love your transparent heart. Praying He fills you with His peace. He delights in you, friend.
I just posted about how He tenderly restores us when we "fail". He is good.
So glad "Jesus Calling" is ministering to your heart. It's a great daily devotional.
Love you!
Sharon
I came by Kelly to pray a Happy New Year for you and I still do but after reading your heart-felt message I pray for you His Peace as well to overflowing.
Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
Standing firm footed in the faith,
Lisa
Thanks for your honest expression. I too failed miserably at goals I had set. I enjoyed reading from the devotional. I had not heard of it before. Thanks so much for sharing. Blessings, SusanD
Hi Kelli,
I too have felt the same heaviness of loss in the New Year you mentioned. I read Jesus Calling daily and it usually sounds like it is personally adapted to what is going on in my life. I want to walk in the Lord's peace and purpose in 2010. He will help us do that. Blessings, B
I loved this post. Welcome back to blogging!
And have a blessed new year!
Kelly,
I am leaving the past behind, enjoying the present, and moving into the future with expectations of all GOD will do in and through my life. I am determined to not allow satan to pull me down. For many years, I focused on my failures. At the close of 2009, GOD spoke to me and said: "Leave the past in the past, enjoy the present, and move into the future with eager expectation!" It was profound for me....Oh, how I needed to hear HIM say this to me. I share it with you, b/c I sense your heart is in the same place mine was.
Much love, hugs, and lots of prayers,
andrea
PS: GOD is and will continue to shine brightly through you.
When our days start out with God's peace and presence, we can't go wrong. Thanks Kelly for sharing your sweet heart with us.
Lee Ann
Failures are actually ok; they indicate that you are still alive. And as long as we live, we will continue to have failures.
One thing I notice about some of my failures - they tend to group around the same two or three character flaws: shortness of patience; speaking without thinking; not planning well. Inevitably I will fail at something that I have failed at many times before, and often in the exact same manner! Talk about frustrating!
But I've learned that this is one way God speaks to me - in my failures and flub-ups. He is showing me the areas of my life that needs work.
Something else to realize - nearly everybody else has the same sense of having tried and failed. Other emotions flood them - fear, loneliness, etc. What can we do for them? Prov. 15:30 - give them a cheerful look (communicating value to them) and give them good news (or a good word). We can cheer them up.
I think Andrea is right that we can so focus on our failures that they get us down. I choose to see them as messages from God about needed behavioral and character growth. And I want to see how I can encourage someone else in their sense of emotional defeat.
This was a good post. You have probably spoken for the great mass of humanity who inwardly carry feelings of defeat and failure, but who also have every reason to keep going on because, as you said, his abundance fill our emptiness. wb
Lovely! I pray blessings on you and your beautiful family! Happy 2010!
You are entirely too hard on yourself.
You set forth to write a book....you learned SO much! You will end up writing a book. Maybe not that one....but there will be one non-the-less. NOT FAIL.
Your blog touched SO many people. You have a way with words that brings people back...even the stubborn ones. NOT FAIL.
You convinced me to blog. I thought it would be a waste of time or that no-one would read....or even worse-they would read (lol). Instead I met a wonderful group of blog friends AND blogging has given me an outlet where sometimes JUST SOMETIMES I even open up. NOT FAIL.
You had articles published and are a feature writer for another blog AND a website. NOT FAIL.
YOU HOSTED OUR FAMILIES CHRISTMAS EVE PARTY!! HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT!!
NOT FAIL!!
I'm sure there are many other things.
Chin up.
Kelly,
I look forward to adding more Godly peace into my home and the lives of my family. Last year with the economy and instability in so many peoples lives drove us to the brink of craziness.
Our time is now to make time for God first and then let everything else fall at His feet.
Love and Hugs ~ Kat
Thank you for sharing. With God, he can turn our failures into His greatest victories! :O)
I enjoyed this post, but way to negative for you to think this way. Of course we will learn from the past. But to truly reach for the future, we have got to let go of the past.
One of the very special promises in the Bible is that when God forgives, He also forgets. In Hebrews 8:12 God says of the new covenant, "For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more." The latter statement is emphatic; in Greek it is a double negative. Now in English two negatives make a positive, but in Greek two negatives make a sentence emphatically negative. God is saying, "I will NOT remember their sins at all." He does this because of the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. His forgiveness and forgetfulness are not because we are so good otherwise that He can overlook a few things. Rather, He forgives and forgets because He is so good and because Jesus died for us.
Excellent,Kelly. Jesus Calling is a popular title in the bookstore where I work. Your devotional idea is great. I've missed reading blogs, but also have realized the time that slips away when I do. I'm afraid to ask who the young son is...
I so needed to hear the words from the devotional today. Thank you!!!
Coming back strong! ;)
God's peace in you this New Year!!
I could hear Him speaking to me through that quote. This was perfect Kelly.
****
About your first point... That is not a FAIL. That is a road block.
Point #2... Just wait til you hit 50! :)
Point #3... God isn't timing you. If you read any of the bible you are on the right track, if you read most of the bible just finish it. I applaud you for what you have accomplished.
Much love to you!
Kelly, appreciate your honesty. Thank you for sharing and blessings me.
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