Thinking back, I was indeed. Not only in things like making sure dinner was made, but in life training. I wasn't taught to meal plan, grocery shop, any hobbies, crafts...life was just existing then.
As we talked more my friend said "it sounds like your mom abandoned you." She met it metaphorically really, but I shared some times when I was literally abandoned by my mom. Left at school with no one to pick me up. Left to find something to eat when I was hungry. And when she packed her bags and left (again) for the mentally hospital for another month or more. Yes, that was where she needed to be...but to a small child that was abandonment.
As I reflected on the conversation, I realized that those were two so appropriate words to describe how my childhood felt...neglected and abandoned. Those words resonated with me.
Of course then my day went on. I did laundry. I made dinner. I got children ready for bed.
Before bedtime, my 5 yr old asked me to read to her, and we sat and read a few books. "One more." I said. Being a smart child, she brought out the biggest book she has - 365 Bible Stories for children. "I will read ONE story in that book, not the whole book." She pointed to the cover picture and said, "Read me THAT story."
I perused probably 364 stories, but couldn't find that picture. "How about another one?" "I want THAT one" she said. So again I looked and finally found the cover picture story. After I read the story, I concluded with the Bible verse for that story...Joshua 1:5. It said:
I will never neglect you or abandon you.
WOW! I had read that verse many times elsewhere, always as "I will never leave or forsake you." But to see that translation...those words I had been feeling all day. Neglected. Abandoned. And to have my God & Savior tell me HE will NEVER neglect me. He will never abandon me.
God revealed his love to me on Monday just exactly as I needed to hear it. What is God trying to reveal to you? Are you listening?
1 Samuel 3:21 -- The LORD continued to appear at Shiloh, and there he revealed himself to Samuel through his word.
Psalm 98:2 -- The LORD has made his salvation known and revealed his righteousness to the nations.
Psalm 85:8 -- I will listen to what God the LORD will say; he promises peace to his people....
23 comments:
Wow...God is so good! It's beautiful how He used your sweet daughter (who seems to know what she wants!)to lead you to that perfect scripture! He is faithful! His Word is life and truth. His promises are real.
Love you, friend!
"And a little child will lead them..." Isaiah 11:6
You dropped a hint on another blog that there was a story coming. Wow.... Who else knows how to reach you like He does? Perfectly....
Yes, we were abandoned by our parents. Yes we were neglected and the Bible shows us some Big men and women who began life similarly or with even more severe childhood abandonment.
I identified with all of your instances of parents in their "fog" and you had to make it as a child. But oh, to know, really really know God was there in all of it ... making sure we lived to adulthood is evidence of His power, love and mercy.
One of my life verses is Psalm 27:10 "When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me."
When that verse lept off the pages my life changed in an instant and I have never been the same. King David knew that neglect. His dad had him in the back 40 acres when Prophet Samuel came and not only was David absent in the physical; he was absent in his dad's mind.
I was an only child in my situation and you siblings at least had each other and you have one another now as witnesses to what did happen when your folks "weren't there" for you in basic parenting.
I love reading how God shines through your beautiful transformation. You do realize this fantastic gift of writing is partially birthed out of that childhood trauma?
Our God never wastes anything.
Would love to read the book around this theme...maybe?
Oh, Kelly! How wonderful that God used your daughter (and your wonderful desire to be a great mom) to give you reassurance and peace!
Amazing! God is just so good and is the best parent anyone could ever ask for.
x
Out of the mouths of babes....I just love it when God uses what we think is an ordinary moment to remind us how EXTRAordinary He is!
(p.s. Hope you read her 2 stories)
So glad you found that translation of that verse at the end of what sounds like a heavy day emotionally. Your daughter and the Lord knew exactly what you needed.
I love the way God Fathers us. When I wrote my post for today about my mom, I thought aboout how totally opposite our childhoods were. BUT GOD... I love what that means... BUT GOD....
redeems, transforms and Fathers us in such a way that no matter what, we are all whole before Him. Awesome.
He does speak. I am amazed how personal the Lord is with each one of us. That verse will always be special because it was a rhema word to you. I just read a devotional with that verse before I read your blog. We never walk alone. JOY! JOY! JOY! B
You will never be Neglected or Abandoned again.
Not on Earth or in Heaven.
God is here with you AND your children will ALWAYS love and respect you. But not only that, your lack of guidance may not have helped you for life's challenges like cooking, housekeeping, or actually anything...HOWEVER you DID learn what NOT to do.
You are one of the best mom's I know. I see how you are raising your children and sometimes wish I had done as well.
They will always remember the way you are there for them. From the HUGE things.....down to the small things, like stopping what you are doing to read just one more book.
Happy Mother's Day....OK, so the calendar says otherwise.....we all know that EVERY day is Mother's Day.
God is real and active in our daily lives. I am SO glad He showed up for you, especially when you needed it the most.
Have a great day,
Tiffany
We were never abandoned by God, Kelly and that is good because of what we dealt with at home. You and I that is. I do know what you went through as I went through something similar. And even though my faith left me for many years due to my childhood scars, God was waiting for me when I felt the need to strengthen our relationship again.
God is just SO amazing!! What a sweet thing to remind you of how faithful He is, and that He is always there. Life sure is hard sometimes and I'm sorry for your past! So glad you're His and that someday we'll meet!!
PS: I bought a purple hula hoop yesterday...and I intend to use it! =) I'll be thinking of you while I'm swishing the hoop....
Powerful message today that leaves me in tears, imagining how difficult your childhood was and now smiling with the promise God has for you and for all of us. Neat that God gave you the message and sweet delivery, in time with your precious daughter. Hugs and love to you!
What a beautiful blog. My friend and I were talking last night about neglectful parents (she and my husband have similar issues with their parents), and this just really hits home. Thank you so much for sharing.
God already knew what story you needed to hear that night! He is amazing. Thank you for sharing with us...He will always be with you :).
Love ya,
Susan
Thanks so much for your comments on my post!
Amazing how He speaks to you as you were reading to your daughter, I just love when that happens.
Loved it!!
-ET
Isn't it funny how some days God will just bombard you with the same truth over and over again?! When this happens to me, I always think, "Okay, God is hitting me over the head with this for some reason. I'd better listen!"
I'm sorry for the sorrow of your childhood. Thank you for sharing it with us. When I look at your photo on your blog, I always think, "Wow, this is a woman who has it all together!" In truth, however, we all carry burdens. I am so glad that we have Almighty God to give our burdens to and that He willingly accepts them and loves us enough to lighten our load. He always amazes me!
Blessings to Kelly!
This is so awesome Kelly! This is one of my favorite posts of yours. Because it shows the beauty of true relationship with our God...He knows all about us. Our past...and how to heal it and make it something...our present because He is right there with us...and our future...HE KNEW just what story your heart needed to hear that night while your gift from Him was on your lap..why He used her as His messenger to bring you a love note! Oh girly I can't even contain the excitement I am feeling from this post!!!!!
Seriously God you are too much for one girls heart to contain...may I spill on to those around me today!
What a touching beautiful post, Kelly. He knew just what you needed to hear and used your sweet little girl to reveal it to you. God is so good!
Beautiful. A testimony to His eye being the the sparrow, the precious little sparrow, YOU.
That's incredible, Kelly! Isn't God good to give such sweet reminders that He is always there for us?
Post a Comment