Seeds of Encouragement - Book Review

Seeds of Encouragement is a series of stories by Andrea Sharp of SharpWomen.com. Each chapter tells a story taken from circumstances in Andrea's personal life. Andrea shares her short stories of love, faith, and holidays, to provide life lessons that we can incorporate into our own lives to grow closer with, and strengthen our connection to God.

Following each chapter is a "Seed of Encouragement" or application lesson from the story which point the reader to the direction of God.  Following the "seed" is a quote from a famous person that also applies to the essay. I enjoyed the way she included the seeds and quotes to turn each essay into a package.

Andrea's love for the Lord is clear in her stories. I enjoyed the way she keeps her eyes to God whatever the circumstance and did find that encouraging.  

The reader should take note that each chapter is independent of the others—similar to a Chicken Soup for the Soul book.The book also contains a multitude of topics including faith, parenting, care giving and more, all with the inspiration to draw the reader closer to God. 

Andrea is an inspirational speaker and author. You may purchase her book here. Please also visit her blog: http://sharpwomen.com/blog/ 

I was provided a copy of this book for free in exchange for a fair and honest review.

When Life Gives You Avocados...

“Whatcha doing?” my sister asked, her standard phone greeting.

“Just making some guacamole.” I answered.

“What? Why?” Her surprise was natural. 

Growing up with a mentally ill mother, dinner was often McDonalds...when we were lucky.  Other times it was a cold hotdog.  I remember the night my mom made macaroni and cheese.  It was the standard blue box variety, but she had forgotten to cook the noodles.  As she stirred the sauce into the crunchy uncooked noodles, she realized her mistake and said, “I messed up the dinner, you’ll have to make yourself something to eat.” She then went to bed.  I was left staring into a nearly empty refrigerator, and eating yet another cold hotdog for dinner. 

Consequently, I've never been good at "domestic" stuff like cooking, cleaning, decorating, and crafting. Without training, I was challenged in these areas. But then something changed.

I joined a cooking co-op. If I would cook dinner just 1 night a week, for myself & three other families, then 3 nights a week I would have dinner delivered to me by another family. To someone who hated (aka can't!) cook this was a dream come true. What happened next was truly a surprise.

I had to meal plan. Once the calendar was set, grocery shopping was easier. And once I started putting some real effort into my cooking, the compliments (from my own family AND the other three families) started coming in! Soon I was buying fun kitchen gadgets (did I say fun and kitchen in the same sentence?)

Now, I can honestly say now I am a good cook. I can meal plan. I just had to learn how. Titus 2:3-5 says we older women are to teach the younger women to be "busy at home." That means cooking, cleaning, meal planning, decorating. I was never taught. But rather than carry on this omission, I am now teaching my children the joys of things like cooking.

When I received a co-op meal that included salad items including onions, tomatoes, cilantro and an avocado, I decided to use the leftovers to make some home-made guacamole.  That’s when my sister called.

“We may not have had the best childhood,” I told her, “But I don’t have to hold onto those years as an excuse not to learn basic domestic skills.  I am no longer stunted by those years.”

“I’m really proud of you,” she said.  I smiled at her encouragement, then held back my laughter as I told her, “When life gives you avocados, make guacamole!”

What challenges are you working to overcome in your life?

Using Your Special Gifts with Your Unique Quirks

"Mom, look what I can do!" my 7 yr old exclaimed as she sniffed hard, pulling both of her nostrils closed.
"Wow, impressive!" I responded enthusiastically, as any mom would.
"It's my special gift from God," she told me.

We all have special gifts. God gives each of us gifts according to his purpose. But we also have quirks. We can mistake our quirks for gifts.  (Watch any episode of America's Got Talent, and you will see examples of this.)  But sometimes we can combine our quirks with our gifts, to create our own unique ministry.

I believe that my writing is a gift. I also have the uncanny ability to remember song lyrics. This leads me to break out into song in almost every conversation, because a single word or phrase can bring an entire song to mind.

I used this "quirk" with my gift of writing, to create Musical Mondays here on the blog. I combined my quirk with my gift and incorporated it into my blog. While it may have seemed clever at the time (okay, I still think it was clever!) it never grew into what I expected, which was a devotional book based on the premise.  But it did create my own unique devotional style.

You are unique too!  God made you special with gifts to use for his glory, and quirks that make you you! It's our job to figure out our gifts and use them for God's design. And if you're a little quirky too, just go for it. It's what puts that unique spin on your gift.

Finally, don't compare your gifts with others!  In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul spells out how we are all uniquely gifted, like different parts of a body. Foot, ear, eye...all are needed for a unique purpose! None are better than the others. So then are our unique gifts.

Use your gifts, embrace your quirks, and don't compare! After all, we can't all sniff hard enough to close our nose! But we can all use our gifts (and quirks!) to glorify God.

What are you gifts? What are you quirks? How can you combine them to create your own unique ministry?

When Grace (seems to) Let Us Down

Giving the gift of grace doesn't guarantee a happy ending. Oh that it would! I remember when my daughter was in 1st grade. She and another young girl were sharing a computer when my daughter accidentally elbowed the other little girl.  "I am so sorry," my daughter exclaimed, "Would you forgive me?" The other little girl, angry, said, "No!" My daughter was devastated.

Just because we do the right thing, doesn't mean we get the right ending. Such is life. In our relationships, we can give and give and give, and still, sometimes not win over the other person. That's not to say we shouldn't try. We should love as Jesus loved. We should give grace. But we shouldn't become doormats or co-dependent.  Sometimes the most graceful thing to do is to walk away from a relationship. To continue to "love" and "give grace" from afar.

In Acts 15, the Apostle Paul and his ministry partner Barnabas have a disagreement. Neither is willing to relent, and so they go their separate ways. Both men of God, both spreading the Word of God. Yet, not together. Still, Paul speaks with esteem and affection about Barnabas in the epistles written after the event.  He gives grace to Barnabas, even while choosing not to continue in ministry with him.

Outside of heaven, will we not have perfect relationships. We are not perfect people, and even if we are, we are around other non-perfect people. The only grace that never fails is God's. His grace saves, and never lets us down. We can show love and grace to others, but we must show ourselves that same love and grace. And that means sometimes choosing to walk away.

The Gift of Grace, part 2

On Friday, we discussed giving the gift of grace to strangers we "meet" in the media. Today, we focus on giving grace to those we know personally.

Another cancellation? It was almost laughable. One of my best friends and I have weekly lunch dates, every Friday. In December with school parties and the 2 weeks of Christmas break, we hadn't had a chance to see each other.

Then came January. She went out of town for a long weekend. I had to cancel when an appointment was unexpectedly rescheduled. Then she had a sick child. We had good spirits about the whole thing, laughing as the next cancellation came, more expected now than not.  Neither of us ever considered that the other had any motive other than to get together, but life happens.

This is a sharp contract to another friendship I had several years back. Again, in December, I knew my schedule would busy, so I emailed the friend to explain to her I wouldn't be able to get together much that month. Imagine my shock when I received a response saying, "If you want to end the friendship just say so, don't make excuses." Of course I emailed back apologizing! However, soon after came another email and another, every time assuming the worst about me or my intentions.

My "friend" had experienced a childhood filled with rejection. And so in adulthood, she expected it.  And she expected it so strongly that she went looking for it, and accusing of it at every turn. Not surprisingly she often found rejection because of her actions. Those actions, the coping mechanisms that protected her in a sad childhood, hindered her in her adult life.

I tried extending grace to her in spite of her actions and accusations, but she couldn't extend any grace my way, sure that every action had an ulterior motive. Finally I realized that perhaps the most graceful thing to do was to exit the relationship. (On Wednesday we'll talk more about what happens when relationships fail in spite of grace.)

But today, I'm glad that my dear friend who I missed seeing all of December, and most of January this year, believes the best about me. She gives me the gift of grace, as I do her. We may let each other down at times, because we are human. But because we extend grace, there is always forgiveness.

Are you extending grace in your relationships?

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8

Giving the Gift of Grace

Last Friday I spent the day moderating comments on my guest post at Michael Hyatt's blog, and it was a great day. Comments poured in, not only on his blog, but on mine, as well as on Twitter and Facebook. Nearly all the comments were positive, except one.  One woman expressed her disappointment on my Facebook page,  "I do have to say tho (sic), that I am a little disappointed that you described yourself as a writer, speaker and then a mom and wife. I think the latter two are more impressive and exciting."

In the past, when I allowed my sense of worth to come from other people's opinions, this one comment would have crushed me. But now, I was able to gently respond to her and let it go, for one simple reason.  She doesn't even know me.

She doesn't know that my husband and I worked together creating my Disqus bio tag line, "Christian: Writer, Speaker, Wife, Mom, Leader."  She doesn't know that I've been married 15 years and this past year of marriage has been our best ever. She doesn't know from the time I was a little girl all I ever wanted to be is a mom. She doesn't know the years that I battled infertility, the pain, the disappointment and the financial cost. And she doesn't know that I have been a stay home mom for 12 years, every moment precious to me. Yet, she felt entitled to inform me of her disappointment in the order that I placed 5 descriptive words (in no particular order) about myself.

I have noticed this sad trend on the way we judge each other in the media. Last June, my sister experienced the tragedy of the accidental death of an infant in her home. Devastation does not come close to describing what she went through. Yet people felt free to put heinous comments about her family in the comments section on media reports.

A local boy in my community was paralyzed by striking his head on a rock as he dove into the river. Someone commented on the media news page he must have been drunk to do something so stupid. His life is changed forever, and that comment (a lie) is just another crushing blow.

Just read any news story that allows comments and you will be disgusted by the sometimes vicious, and always judgmental, way people attack those already down. Why do we do that? What do we judge other's situations so harshly? Why don't we show grace, especially when we have no first hand knowledge?

The Bible is clear that the measure by which we judge is the measure we will be judged by. Judge not, lest you be judged. This isn't an excuse to ignore the sins of others.  We are to speak to our friends, in private. We are to speak the truth, in love.

The comments I've been reading lately in the media are not spoken in love, but in hatred. This practice has become so common place that the word "Haters" has been coined to describe people who do it.

I don't know the solution. But I do know, that my new goal is to assume the best about people, giving them the gift of Grace, with the help of God. No one is perfect. Especially me.

Have you ever judged someone harshly, or left a negative comment?  How do you feel about that now?

A Life Without Blinders

I rushed to the checkout counter at the department store. I had just enough time to ring up my purchases and pick up my daughter from school on time. Thankfully, there was only one young man ahead of me.  He chatted away to the check out clerk.  Obviously, he was not running late like I was. I became more anxious as he took his time.

I checked my watch again as they worked through his transaction. He began to count out his money. My annoyance rose. If he didn't hurry up, I was going to have to leave my purchase. He came up short with his money. "Good grief," I thought, "Just hurry up!"  He left his purchases on the counter. Relieved, I checked out and jumped in the car to pick up my daughter.

On the drive, I reflected on the situation.  I'd missed an opportunity, because I'd had blinders on.  I don't remember how much money he was short on his purchase, but I could have given him the dollar or two he needed.  I remembered what he had been saying. "A new shirt for my new job."  He was excited. I'd missed an opportunity to show a random act of kindness; to show him the love of Jesus.

Now, I strive to live a life without blinders on. Here are some tips that help me.

1. Slow down. I was a big hurry.  That was my first mistake. I didn't plan my own time better, so suddenly my running late was his fault. If I hadn't been in a hurry, I would have been relaxed and able to engage in what he was saying in the moment, rather than in hindsight.

2. Don't focus on yourself. It was all about me that day. When I was so focused on myself, I couldn't see the young man. In hindsight I realized how proud and excited he was about his new job. It was probably his first job. I missed the chance to share in, and increase his joy, because I couldn't take my eyes off myself.

3. Be intentional. We have opportunities to help those around us every day if we just take our blinders off.  Now I am more intentional about looking and seeing those around me.

4. Pray. Yes, pray, and ask God to open your eyes. God places people in our path that need to see his light, and we have the chance to reflect it. Be the light.

I am sorry for my actions that day at the store. I am thankful that God is never too busy to see me, and for his amazing grace when I blow it. Those blinders made me blind...but now I see.

For this people’s heart has become calloused; they hardly hear with their ears, and they have closed their eyes. Otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears, understand with their hearts and turn, and I would heal them. But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.  Matthew 13:15,16

Are you intentionally seeking opportunities to shine God's light or participate in random acts of kindness?