Fear of Rejection

As this year began, I was delusional excited as I began my goal to write a devotional book. I set the goal to write regularly. As I began working on my book, I hit a logistical snag. So I emailed a literary agent that I follow on blogger with my idea and questions.

The agent was gracious and generous enough to respond and answer my questions. Not only that, she said she really liked my idea and said she would like to see it once I got in written. I was dancing around the house in glee! Now one would think that I would immediately write my book and submit it to her. Actually quite the opposite happened.

You see, right in that moment of time, I had a small success. Right then, "she liked me, she really liked me!" But what happened if I wrote the book and she found that my ideas were better than my writing. What if the initial idea was good, but my formulation wasn't. What if I got rejected? No, not me. If I just stopped right there, I could sit in the comfortable place of having a good idea without risking rejection.

I didn't even realize I was doing it, really, until I was emailing with a new blogger friend, Heaven (Yes, that's her real name) at Heaven's Journey. She said something that really hit home with me. She said:

When we are seeking acceptance and praise from others, it's because we are not able to receive our acceptance and praise from God alone. You can have "head" knowledge that God thinks you are great and loves you, but if you don't have the "heart" knowledge of really "knowing" God loves you, then you seek the acceptance and praise elsewhere. You always walk around with a hole in your heart, saying "fill me, make me whole, say something to make me believe that I'm worth it." The bad thing is that you can fill that hole up with praise from others, and ONE person comes along and says something negative, and it totally drains the hole that you just got filled up. You start ALL over.

Now I know how much Jesus loves me, but I really want everyone else too also! But I can't count on that. I have to find my worth in Christ alone. So this week, I submitted my book query. It might get rejected, but it's okay because I took a step in faith. Because whether I'm the best writer or the worst writer (or somewhere in between) what matters most is Jesus loves me. And that is enough.

Accepted or rejected, I hope that when you look at me you see my faith shining through.

Psalm 27:1 -- The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? (NIV)

Matthew 10:29-31 -- Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. (NIV)

Philippians 4:13 -- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (NKJ)

Thankful Thursday - 5/7

Here are my 5 this week:

1. I'm thankful my 5 yr old is over her virus...and for decongestant medicine since I caught it.

2. I'm thankful that my accountability partner skipped the gym this morning so I could too, guilt-free.

3. I'm thankful that my nephew is out of the hospital (pneumonia) and that my niece (his sister) got her cast today (after braking her arm on Saturday.) Yes, it's safe to say my sister, ET, had a bad week this week. But it's getting better.

4. I'm thankful for encouragement from bloggy friends. You guys make my day.

5. I'm thankful that y'all will let me get by with only 4 things this week, cause my head is stopped up and it's hard to think. I think I'll go rest on the couch. :-)

Blogging Schedule

I'm not wonder woman! (This is what the tag line on my blog used to be.) My blog was called Wonder Woman Wonders. I used to try to do it all, but I've come to realize I can't! And that is a good thing.

The school year winds down for my preschooler in just 3 weeks, and for my elementary aged daughter in just 5 weeks. With the end of the year comes lots of field trips and school productions. My schedule is jamming up. I need to cut back some where.

So effective immediately, my blog will be going to a reduced schedule. My plan is to post on Mondays and Fridays for devotions, and post Thankful Thursdays as often as possible. If you follow my blog, you'll always know when I post! (You never know when I'll get on a roll & post extra!) So if you don't follow, just click the "FOLLOW" button on the right to make sure you don't miss anything.

To my bloggy friends, please know I'm still jumping around & visiting as much as I can, but for the next few weeks I may not comment as much.

Ready for Summer Vacation -

Lucky 13

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary. Now supposedly 7 is a lucky number, and 13 is unlucky. But in marriage since 7 is supposedly unlucky (7 year itch), than 13 must be lucky right??

So in honor of my lucky 13th, here are 13 Things I've Learned in 13 Years:

1. My husband is not perfect. And neither am I.

2. I can't change him, and I'm basically okay with that.

3. It's not all about me, no matter what "it" is.

4. How to cook, and I'm pretty good at it!

5. What ELSE I want to be when I grow up (besides a wife & mother...a writer!)

6. Believing in God in not enough, I want to live my life for him.

7. Minivans are cool. (Humor me on this one.)

8. I won't be a size 2 forever, and that just means there is more of me to love. (*wink*)

9. I finally concur with the Bible's take on submission...I didn't say I was good at it, I just said I agree with it.

10. Gifts aren't important! I'm happy with just a card and spending time together. (Really, honey, I'm not kidding!)

11. It takes work to make a marriage last or to be a good mom, and I'm up for the task.

12. I'm not always right (but I still want to be).

13. I still have a lot to learn...and always will.


Colossians 3:13-15 -- Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.