Entertaining focuses on impressing. (Think Martha Stewart). Hospitality focuses on refreshing, making those who visit your home (regardless of how messy it may be) feel important to you, heard, and refreshed.
My friend Mrs P over at Patterson 5 shared with me a sweet story. She was busy rushing around cleaning house for some guest she was having, and her husband Mr P said "You should be more like Kelly; she doesn't care how messy her house is." Okay, I'm exaggerating a little. He said it way more nice, but when Mrs P told me all I heard was how messy Mr P thinks my house is. LOL! The truth is, he was commenting on my attentiveness to them. I do love having them over. So why do I get all freaky about the house?!? Because of my need to IMPRESS, as well as REFRESH my guests. And that is my heart issue, which I need to change.
I'm not a good house keeper. My cooking is average. I'm not good at all the little details that make things nice. Come Thursday morning, I may be "worried and upset about many things." May I remember that only one thing is needed...and I already have Him. May I also remember, that my family and friends are coming to share Thanksgiving with me, not with Martha.
Luke 10:38-43 -- As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."
**Check Out My New Blog "Chatty Kelly's Kids Say" at http://kellykidsay.blogspot.com/ **
22 comments:
LOVE this post! You are so honest and that's what us non-perfect moms need to hear!!! I feel like i fail often because I don't have the decorating flare, or the perfectly clean house.....I have a feeling the ones that do don't have 3 toddlers running around the house undoing all the tiding up that I manage to do. Thanks for the encouragement that I don't have to be perfect, I just need to be the me that HE made me!
Love from your messy friend Vxx
Oh, do I ever understand YOU!!!!
My absolute favorite saying regarding the "messy" issue is this: If you're coming over to see me, stop by anytime.
If you're coming to see my house, please call ahead.
When I remember those words, I am a little less inclined to strive to be Martha Stewart. (Unless, of course, it's my grandma who is coming over. This place has GOT to be cleaned up if she's coming!!! lol)
You are funny! Your house is always neat when I'm there. The truth is, it isn't the house that matters, its the fellowship and the invitation.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving!
Sonya
I totally understand what you describe. I have a story... I am high energy, lots of talking and totally flapping all over the place in excitement and confusion when people come over. Many people have said later, "Your home is so peaceful". That stuns me. I know they're talking about the presence of God- nothing to do with me.
Don't worry. When we are coming over for Thanksgiving, no one cares if the house is clean or not......except for Dad.
As for me..
"I don't want no pickles
I don't want no honey
I just want a plate and a fork and a bunny..."
I am so completely like this! As a matter of fact, my cousin is coming in from out of town tomorrow, and I am freaking out about having the house perfect. There are six children in this house right now. It is very hard to get a house perfect with six children in it. LOL
Of course, it is also very hard to get a house perfect when you are sitting at the computer....
Great post...and great comments...I am sitting here tickled because I have actually heard the lyrics that your sis quoted in her comments....Yeah...I can NEVER get movie quotes or song lyrics...and today I did...its a NEW DAY!
I with ya on wanting the house to be perfect. I think we all have a little Martha inside us. Explains why the Mary/Martha story is in the Bible huh? :)
Have a Wonderful Thanksgiving enjoying your friends and family.
Well, I can't write with your grace, and I'm sure way past being as cute as you are, but honey, I'll put my messy up to yours any day of the week and win.
I have all books in print on this subject; I started a Christian group to overcome it; and I even joined NAPO..Nat'l Assoc of Prof. Org. I told them I was the mouse coming to a cat convention. I have held several jobs designing so I became a closet designer so I could regulraly check out the neat folks.
Oh, that was a dream come true for them. My creativity and their organizing skills. They taught me more than all of those books, courses, etc.
You're right about hospitality and being concerned about the people more than anything else.
I do pray for order and I'm closer to some long lasting order than I've ever had.
Oh...to have a cyber friend who understands clutter. I love you more than ever.
I'm with you 100%!! I make it such a "personal issue"..... that people are going to think poorly of me and dislike me if everything isn't "perfect"... It is an "approval" issue for me... one that I am working on with the Lord! Honesty is always so refreshing... thank you!
Heather
Great post and something I needed to hear. I put such pressure on myself to be "Martha" and have begun stressing over all those coming to our house on Thursday, and it's only Monday. Time to take a deep breath, say a prayer, and get ready to enjoy a great day.
I feel your pain. Ditto on all the domestic stuff you mentioned. However, I love the idea that hospitality is for refreshing not impressing. I've never heard that definition, but it's a keeper.
Thankfully, on Thursday I don't have to clean as we're going to my aunt's house for the meal. Well, I guess I will clean some because my parents are coming here on Friday.
However, due to a family feud the person bringing the roast isn't coming to the get together on Thursday now (don't you just love family situations over the holidays) so I've been asked to bring the roast that person was bringing. That means I have to...ahem...I mean I "get to" cook.
Interesting.... I heard a message preached from this text this weekend. God bless you. God just used you to CONFIRM some thing to me. I belong at the foot of the Lord. Impressions can only last but for so long.
Blessings!
Shanita
Great timing on this post. I love the refreshing for your guest. Enjoy giving Thanksgiving and Praise to God! All Mary's and Martha's are welcome at His table.
great post and great reminder that the surface stuff only goes so far.
I try to be a Mary...but Mary wasn't a procrastinating, perfectionist, high maintenance, neurotic like me. Its a big change! But I will keep trying..
Oh my goodness! I did not realize Mr P's comment would be on your blog! He does love coming to your house as all the Patterson's do You make us feel so welcome and special. It would not matter if your home was spit spot perfect or completely disheveveled (sp) the way you host it would not matter. (Even though your home always looks great!)
Kelly: Warm Thanksgiving blessings to you and yours! I just know your Thanksgiving meal and time together will be special! May HE bless you all with His peace.
Refreshment and coziness,
Sharon :)
For some reason I don't see you as a messy person. I bet you just think you are a messy housekeeper. I bet you could give Martha a run for her money.
Oh Kelly, I absolutely love this post. Truly. I'm a former Martha all the way. Now, I GUARANTEE dog-hair tumbleweeds and dust...but I'm more relaxed and focused on YOU. It really IS all about relationships and fellowship.
And I love the compliment given by your friend's husband. What a testimony to your heart!
Happy Thanksgiving, Kelly.
Oh I am 100% there for you on this one!!! I love the two words: IMPRESS/REFRESH. Unfortunately, I fall into the latter too often. And it's never quite "good enough" for my tastes. I worry that people are going to leave talking about a dust bunny they saw or some pile in the corner.
I just commented to my DS 3 the other day, "I was much calmer on Wed. before Thanksgiving this year and we got things done." He laughed so hard he snorted! Uh, I guess my perception was a little off.
It's good to know I have "sisters" out there.
Hugs,
Susan
I know what you mean. I too stress over being the perfect hostess and it's not easy when I worry about doing everything I should be doing...the impress part. I just love the company so come on over. Connie
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