After each insult, he responds as if it were meant kindly. The Bible says "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) These are words I have trouble implementing in my life.
The verse says turns away wrath. The wrath was already there, and you are to give a gentle answer back. I can speak gently...until I get the harsh word. Then I respond harshly, even if the word wasn't directed at me.
Before my husband and I were married, we attended pre-marital classes with the Pastor. One of the "issues" I had was that I felt my husband blew things out of proportion. If we missed an exit while driving on the interstate, he blew up. Then I would blow up at him for acting so dramatically over something so stupid. But the Pastor said, "Maybe it's not stupid to him." He encouraged me to respond gently.
My husband had his secretary make the travel arrangements on our honeymoon (isn't that romantic?). When we arrived to our destination airport, he discovered she booked the rental car off property. That meant we'd have to take a cab or bus to the rental place. My husband was very annoyed, to say the least. I felt like screaming "Who cares?! We just got married, we're together, we have all week, let's just be happy." But instead, I validated him. I said "I can see why you're upset." Remarkable, that was the end of it.
Years have past and I have become woefully inadequate at responding gently. And when I do remember, it doesn't always work as well as it did on our honeymoon. But that doesn't mean I should quit trying.
Because I don't want to be like Payton Manning. I want to be like Jesus.
Proverbs 21:9 -- Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Ephesians 5:33 -- However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Proverbs 31:10 -- A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
24 comments:
I love that commercial also and the first time I saw it I kept thinking "I wonder if he is really like that in person. Could he really be that kind when being faced with ugliness?" Something I wish I could be. I have a looooong ways to go.
Oh, I pray my heart, mind and tongue are always Spirit controlled! Thanks for the reminder and encouragement.
Listen, sister-friend, come and visit us here in PA, and I'll get us tickets to "Live!" and we'll take the train up. It's very fun! (5 AM train out of Princeton to be in NYC at the studio before 7 AM) Wouldn't that be fun!?!? Seriously!
Oh that's great! He has a sweet answer for everything and the looks on his offenders faces....now that's priceless! Hard lessons to follow. Jesus calls us to turn the other cheek and give gentle answers...constant reliance on Him.
That is a great commercial. I have never seen it before. It is hard not to get caught up in the madness but I too try my best not to. Sounds like our spouses are a lot alike. :) I am sorry you didn't win my drawing but I would like to send you a consolation prize since it is Christmas.
Ha. That is funny. I haven't seen that one before.
"Kill them with kindness"
(I mean that in the nicest way....)
GREAT post!!!!!
I have been working on "gentleness", too... not a natural strong point of mine!!!!!!!
Heather
PS... We really like payton here in INDIANA!!!!
I hadn't seen the commercial before. It's cute.
Just this morning the Lord was giving me some relvelation on how to give more answers with understanding than the harsh judgement that sometimes I blurt out first. You have to acknowledge how a person feels first or you lose the opportunity to share the love of Jesus and His compassion.
What a great commercial and reminder.
I have a hard not letting the words that come from my mouth not be without a harsh response.But I'm working on it.
My mom always reacted towards a person who spoke "not so nice" and gave them grace. She would said" "Oh,they really didn't meant that."
Great post, hadn't seen that commercial....p.s. I signed up as a follower...now we are 33....
Great post.. I haven't seen that commercial before... funny..lol.
Wow! What great wisdom you were given as you began your marriage. Looks like this word was planted in your heart. This commercial fits with the Word. Have a great peaceful day Kelly! b
I have to remind myself in my marriage, "Do I want to be 'right' or do I want to be happy?
Admittedly, sometimes I DO want to be right!
Well, you know, Peyton is the local idol, although he's not from here and has a distinct southern accent. Still, we claim and hoard him. Great application. And you made me laugh about the followers. I see I am not alone in my insanity.
It's all in the delivery! Thank you for teaching His words to us today!!!
EEK! THIS WAS MEANT FOR ME TODAY TOO! I had never seen that commercial.
After I watched it alls I could think was how I've been a person who easily has gotten OFFENDED in my life. Over stupid remarks and comments and other people's opinions. Things that just don't matter at all.
My hope is that I speak in love... and hear in kindness.
Holykisses,
Lea
after watching this clip, my boys and I started watching mastercard commercials via youtube...
Oh my, am I ever convicted!! Thank you for this gentle admonishment.
I have had alot of practice being calm! In my business I have to take alot of verbal abuse from people. I have work very hard to shake my head gently and speak softly! But.. sometimes I want to get out the bigstick!!
I really enjoyed this commercial, but I think I might be seeing it differently than everyone else. It doesn't seem to me like he's CHOOSING to answer kindly - it's almost as though he doesn't realize that THEY are being unkind. He's simply assuming the best in people. I guess sometimes ignorance can be bliss. If we see what the possible good is in everyone, maybe we can see the possible potential and see them like Jesus does. Loved it!!
Yeah!! I'm so excited for you in recognizing this. Your pastor's words from that time are words to ponder--maybe it's important to him. It's that "Mars-Venus" thing...and it's so much easier to respond with what's comfortable for you at the time. (sigh!)
So even if you don't get the response you want, (and believe me, this is the lesson I'm learning BIG TIME from God in my "On Purpose" 40-day quest), Go Jesus, and leave the driving to Him!
If I can remember that He works all things out for good, then I shouldn't worry too much about the bad reaction. It's a lack of faith issue with me (again! Imagine that!!)
This might be one of my favorite posts. Not that I'm very good at that gentle word but I think we don't get this reminder as often as we should.
Hey did you get those emails I sent to you about Houston? Just want to be sure they're not getting lost in cyberspace. :)
Oh, this was meant for me! I deal with this every day at my work--people irate over nothing. I used to (and still do sometimes!!) get so angry, and I wasn't allowed to say an unkind word--I'm at work, remember!!
Then, I had an attitude adjustment--when someone comes into my office that is upset, irate--sometimes justifiably, sometimes not--I just look at them in silence until they stop talking, listening to what they are saying. Most of the time, it has nothing to be with me personally, and I have to remind myself not to take this personally. They are upset about the situation.
Then I say, "And how can I help you with this problem?"
If they continue in their yelling, I'll say, "If you would please stop yelling at me, I will try to help you."
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't--but it's always worth a try because usually it does.
Beth
Ooh, I like this marital advice. Definitely going to use it!
Excellent, excellent words here...thank you!
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